Savory casseroles, creamy potatoes, roasted meats, and other holiday favorites line the round dining table at the center of the Saylor family home in Coldiron, Kentucky. Warm crockpots cover the sideboard, pies and cake are arranged on top of the chest freezer nearby, and plates, napkins, and utensils are tucked in wherever they will fit. Barbara and Lonnie Saylor’s eleven grandchildren grew up within walking distance of them, all in the same mountain holler in southeastern Kentucky, and now they are home for Thanksgiving. Like always, Barbara has made sure each of them has plenty of their favorite dish to eat.

“No matter what, I'm going to take care of them. They're all special to me,” Barbara says. “Anything they want, whether it's gravy, whether it's mashed potatoes, whether it's fried potatoes, I make it.”

[PHOTO: Conner (left) helps Barbara (right) prepare the Thanksgiving meal.]

Barbara has been an important source of stability, comfort, and inspiration for three of her grandchildren in particular: Cody, Conner, and Macy. In their youth, the siblings survived many traumas connected to their parents’ mental illness, drug and alcohol use, jail time, and cancer. In their teens, they were finally able to move in with their mamaw and poppy permanently, and now, every day is a kind of thanksgiving for them. 

“My grandmother's was the one safe space, and that's where I finally got my peace,” Cody says.

Cody was the first to find Union. At a young age, he had learned that concentrating on his academics helped him block out some of his worries and fears connected to his home life. He worked very hard in school, graduated as a valedictorian of his high school class, and for as long as he can remember, he wanted to go to a four-year college. 

When he visited several institutions across Kentucky on a school field trip, Union felt like the one. His home in Harlan County was less than an hour away, and Union’s small campus and low faculty-to-student ratio helped him feel at ease. He applied during the tour and got in on full scholarship.

“Freshman year was very interesting for me,” Cody says. In addition to academics, he found a new world of social possibilities. “I ended up taking an interest in events on campus, like clubs, which I had never been involved in before.”

[PHOTO: Cody receiving an award at senior honors day]

Due to the abuse and neglect he grew up with, Cody explains, he was an anxious and depressed kid who stuttered and found it hard to engage socially and express himself verbally. Writing was a kind of refuge for him, and he excelled in English classes especially. Still, he recalls, he would hide in the background and do his own thing.

“That changed when I got to Union,” Cody says. He joined the Social Players Guild (SPG) and met people with similar interests and “developed camaraderie with fellow students.”

Soon, Cody even found himself in leadership roles for the first time. He was elected Vice President of the SPG and was highly involved with the movement to bring Esports to Union’s campus as an official sport with its own arena. He was then elected President of the Esports Club, as well.

For Conner, going to college didn’t seem so certain. He and Macy lived with their parents for a few years longer than Cody, and when their mother became ill with cancer, Conner became her primary caregiver. Conner was only a freshman in high school when his mother, afraid to go to the doctor, died at home. 

“In a lot of ways, Conner really got the worst of it,” Barbara reflects, tearfully.

The following year, Conner became very ill himself, eventually having to have his gallbladder removed on the anniversary of his mothers’ death. Not quite a year later, the COVID-19 pandemic took hold and added its own stressors, including Barbara having a stroke after contracting the virus.

“I didn’t think I would live to a certain age,” Conner says, “so I didn't plan after that.”

Family support made all the difference for him. Seeing that his brother was “having such a good time at college” helped him envision himself there, too, but Barbara’s encouragement is what really gave him the needed push. 

“She said to me, ‘I believe in you. You can do anything you put your mind to,’” Conner recalls.

Conner applied to Union, and with help from the sibling scholarship, a theatre scholarship he’s very proud of, and other aid, he began in 2022. Since high school, he has enjoyed building and painting theatre sets, crafting props, and helping with costumes. While at Union, his passion for theatre has grown, and his skills have advanced. In his sophomore year, he served as set designer for Union’s fall play, "An Unspeakable Triumph of Supreme Brilliance," and recently, he’s begun to step out on stage and dabble in acting, as well.  

[PHOTO: Conner (right) and his friend Erin (left) painting the set for "An Unspeakable Triumph of Supreme Brilliance."]

“It's been wonderful. I've made so many friends,” Conner says of Union theatre. “We're all tight-knit, and we all try to help each other out.”

At this point, helping others is Conner’s primary motivation in life. 

Conner says his childhood trauma has fueled an interest in psychology, and although he never imagined a bachelor’s degree was within his reach until a few years ago, he now wants to pursue a PhD in the field. He hopes to blend his lifelong love of the arts with his passion for helping people and become an expressive arts therapist one day. 

“Art has helped me express myself in ways that I've not been able to otherwise and has helped me cope,” Conner says. He is now majoring in general studies with a focus on social sciences and fine arts.

“I'm glad I'm where I'm at,” he adds. “I'm hopeful. I have a dream. I have a path.”

In addition to theatre and academics, Conner enjoys living on campus, and in the spring of 2024, he received the Resident of the Year award from then housing director Stephanie Lewis. The award recognizes students who “exemplify extraordinary behavior and character and model Union’s core values of celebration, integrity, responsibility, civility, learning, engagement, and spirituality (CIRCLES)," Lewis says.

When it was time for Macy to think about college, she had two important influences in her older siblings. Conner encouraged her to come to Union, and Cody told her to go wherever would be the best fit for her. Still, she was initially resistant to follow in Cody and Conner’s footsteps.

[PHOTO: Macy on Union's campus]

Like Conner, Macy is focused on living a life of service and is eager to explore how she might best do that. She’s driven by a sense of justice, fairness, and making things better for others than they were for her and her siblings. For instance, she says that the child welfare system is not working the way it should: “There's obvious signs that they're somehow missing, and where I've been through it, I know the signs. It would be tremendous for me to change someone's life in the way that I wish mine would have been.”

She’s a proud recipient of a 4-year Mission of Hope Scholarship (awarded by the Christian organization of the same name), is majoring in criminal justice, and thinks she may add psychology as a double major in the future. Whether it be offering direct support to people in need, fixing unjust systems, or advocating for better social policies, Macy just wants “to be someone who’s helping something or somebody.” 

During her first semester at Union, she’s already found extracurricular opportunities on campus to expand her capacity to serve. She and Conner took a Trauma-Informed Care Training offered through the Boys & Girls Club and UCU, and Macy also completed an Early Response Training for Disaster Relief offered through the United Methodist Committee on Relief.

[PHOTO: Macy, right, at early response training on Union's campus (photo courtesy of the Rev. David Miller]

Each in their own way, the three siblings are focused on positivity, gratitude, and service. Their determination to stick with their goals and flourish despite the odds is a testament to the power of Barbara’s belief in them and is reminiscent of her own strength and fortitude through hardship. Their kindness and compassion for others is akin to Barbara’s love and dedication to their well-being. Support from Barbara and each other has meant everything to Cody, Conner, and Macy, and they have found a similar feeling of personal care across Union’s campus. 

Cody especially appreciates how his media professor Dr. Christine Marley-Frederick helped him build his confidence and come out of his shell by encouraging him to show his classmates his problem-solving methods. He double-majored in English and media communications, graduated with multiple awards in 2023, and is now pursuing Union’s Master of Digital Marketing & Communications Management. Marley-Frederick also connected him with his work study position in the Office of College Communications (OCC) in senior year. The part-time job gave him real-world experience in the field he ultimately hopes to go into, allowed him to quit his retail job, and also prepared him for his current position as a graduate assistant with OCC.

For Macy, the small campus and the opportunity to build closer bonds with those around her has been more important than she realized it would be. “I've had a great time here,” she says. “I'm glad I chose to go here over those other bigger schools. I don't know if I could have done that, honestly.”

Barbara is happy to see Cody, Conner, and Macy thriving: “They all chose to come to Union, and I believe they made the right choice. Everybody at Union has been so kind, so nice and helpful. I love Union myself. It’s big enough to meet your needs, big enough to spread out, but it's also small enough that if you need the help, they're there for you.”

[PHOTO: Cody at work for Union's Office of Communications]

Barbara tells her grandchildren, “Mamaw wants you to be the best you can be, be everything you can be. I tell them fly, baby, fly.” 

Still, she and Lonnie are getting up in age, and she knows the grandkids worry about them and don’t want to be too far away. She is grateful that they can spread their wings at Union and still be close enough to home to come back for holidays, or whenever they might need or want to.